Completely off the wagon...

I had been doing so well....had being the key word. I was working out upwards of 5 to 6 days a week, eating healthy and losing weight. But the first week of April, my mom had surgery and I was staying with her. I hadn't been going to the gym that week because of how far she lives from my gym. I kept telling myself "it's ok that I'm not going this week....I'll go back next week when I am home". Yea, that never happened. I almost completely stopped going to the gym, starting eating really crappy because I was so stressed out from the end of my semester from Hell....and then I started gaining some of the weight back. I was down 20.5 lbs. I had gained back 8 lbs, but now I am starting to get focused again and started to lose a little bit of weight again. Currently, I am still down 17 lbs overall. I just need to gain control over it all again. I did make it to the gym once this last week, so there's a start. My motivation has just up and left, basically. But I'll find it again.

Stress eating in reverse?

Stress eating. I used to do a lot of it. I'd get upset, frustrated and angry, so I'd munch down on some not-so-good for me foods. But now, trying to focus on getting back to healthy, I am finding that I am having the opposite problem when I get stressed out....I stop eating. WTF? I was expecting to lose about 1 lb this week....I am down 3 lbs instead. It was an empty victory. I know it was because I had a terribly stressful week between work, school and some family stuff. I also had a lot of trouble dragging my butt to the gym at 4:30 in the morning. Which, I noticed, even after a few days of not going to the gym, I felt gross all over. I am hoping next week will be better. A lot of family worry/stress will be lifted once Monday is over and then just need to make it until the end of April and the semester from Hell will officially be over. I might actually be able to breath again and get back to a normal social life.

Overall, I am now down 14 lbs total. I am really starting to feel the difference on my body. Especially when I wear some of my work pants - I was called "droopy drawers" at work yesterday. Haha!

Week Five

I am officially down a total of 11 lbs now!!! It's a great feeling! It's nice to know, regardless of the stressful things that are going on in my life, there is something that I can actual take control of - my health and well being! With those taken care of, I am so much better at catching all of the curve balls life has been throwing my way lately. I think that if I was not in control of my health, like I was five weeks ago, I would have had a true break down. I sometimes wonder how I take on all that I do. I lay in bed at night, letting my mind run through the current day's events and laugh a little thinking "is this really my life?" But the next morning, while pushing myself on the bike, I clear my mind and don't allow myself any thoughts other than what I am doing right then. The feel of my muscles tightening in my thighs with each rotation of the pedals. The smells around me. The sound of music in my ears and the familiar feeling of sweat trickling down my face and neck. It's the perfect way to start each day with a clean slate, not a biased slate from the previous day.

Fourth Week

Holy crap! I can't believe I have been doing weight watchers and going to the gym for four weeks already!!! I had my weigh in this morning and am down another 2 lbs!!! Total of 9.5lbs!!! I am definitely noticing a difference in my overall size though....kind of wishing that I had measured myself in the beginning because I know I have lost in that aspect. Maybe this weekend I'll take measurements and just go from there.

I am so proud of myself! I have no idea how I am making all of this happen though! Working full time, going to school physically three nights a week and heading to the gym at 4:30AM......it's a mad house!!!

Three weeks down, only about eight million more to go!

At the end of my third week, I am down another 1.5 lbs! Making a total of 7.5 lbs off! I am working my ass off, literally. Eating right and working out daily, making the difference. I am sleeping better and am slightly less stressed, even though there is still work, school and family medical problems. At least when I am working out regularly, I feel like I can manage my stress with that type of outlet. We'll see how I feel in a few weeks, haha!I have been noticing lately though, I find myself wishing that I could skip forward about two months. That way, I would be down at least 20 lbs and be much more physically fit. It's really starting to frustrate me that I'm thinking this way. It's so not fair to myself. I need to snap myself back to reality and realize that I actually have to work towards that.

I am a work in progress. I just need to keep telling myself that over and over again because of my feelings of wanting instant gratification. Regardless of the thoughts I occasionally have, I am going to continue the way I am! Eating right, working out and staying positive - about everything.

Still trucking...

I am about to start week three of my new lifestyle. Things are still going really well! I am down another 3 pounds this week, making a total of 6lbs! I am still truckin it to the gym just about everyday and still loving that! Things are moving along. It's quite amazing what you can do when you put your mind to it! But, ultimately, I think it came down to the fact that I didn't feel healthy, body and mind. To ensure that I will continue to live as long as I possibly can, I knew that I needed to have an intervention with myself. My gym schedule has been off the last few days. Ended up spending almost the entire night at the hospital Thursday night because a family member was there. And now, with it being Sunday, I haven't been back since Thursday morning. My sleep was completely knocked off track. It's a strange feeling. My body was actually getting used to working out, I was getting up before my alarm would sound at 4:30AM...and now, I feel gross not working out. Even after three days. Which, I guess that is a good sign, right?

But today, for some reason, I feel like I am can't get enough to eat. Every time I turn around, I am heading back to the fridge. It would probably be in my best interest to just pop in a movie and lay down. Get my mind focused on something else so I stop eating and end up going over the limit!! So we'll see how it goes!

I can see clearly now....

Hahaha....or actually I can already see results. I am into my second week on my new plan and things are fantastic!! I am fully dedicated to the gym. I have been going every morning before work at about 4:30AM and it's awesome!!! I can already feel the difference in my pants and some of my shirts, although, just a tiny difference only noticeable to me, but a difference nonetheless.

I have been struggling a little with my hunger, especially when I am stressed out. When I have a stressful moment I want to just run to the pantry and grab a tub of peanut butter and chow down. But, I try to resort to other alternatives. Even though, this past weekend, I did have a stressful melt down and steered off course, but got myself aligned the very next day.

I am also attempting to cook new foods. Normally, I have to cook for the entire week on Sundays because of my busy schedule. Usually I cook something that has a ton of servings and eat that for lunches and dinners all week....BORING!!! So I am cooking lots of smaller meals that will get me through the week but keep me from eating the same thing all week. This week I made Chicken Parmigiana and a Texas-Style Casserole. I also have the stuff to make a healthier, lighter version of fish and chips, just haven't made it yet. I am also keeping myself stocked up with plenty of good snacking choices....so as at least if I feel a snack attack coming on, I have something at hand and I don't wind up in the car making my way to Burger King.

Some how, I have crazy motivation and I truly hope that it keeps going.